The Trouble with Valentine’s Day

            Valentine’s Day has different meanings for different people. For those who are single it is often a day of dread and remembrance of their singlehood. For those in relationships, it is often bittersweet. Some enjoy the romance and attention while others just find it to be too much work to have to plan something special.

            There are several problems with Valentine’s Day, as I see it. First, in many relationships, both individuals in the couple do not give the day the same meaning. We are told that it is a romantic day; some people believe it and hope for romance while others don’t believe it but feel as though they must live up to the standard of romance. This can put unnecessary stress on a relationship by making the planner feel pressured or may result in the significant other feeling unloved due to a lack of romance. For those couples who do not share the same beliefs about the holiday, I encourage you to discuss this in order to get a good grasp on your partner’s expectations and wishes, and agree on a happy medium for you both.

            The second problem with Valentine’s Day is that it is an arbitrary day that has no real meaning to most people other than that given to it by society. This makes it feel forced and cliché to have a romantic evening for many people. It may be more meaningful to increase the romance in your relationship based on more important dates such as  anniversaries and birthdays or to celebrate important milestones in your life and relationship.

           For those who are consistently unhappy with their loved lack of romance, it may be important to look at the positive things their significant other does for them on a regular basis. Not everyone shows their love by providing expensive dinners, flowers, candy, or other gifts. For instance, many men look at working extra as showing their loved ones they care by providing for the family. It is more important to look at the relationship and partner as a whole instead of their actions on one day.

            No matter how you and your partner decide to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, don’t take it too seriously! Relax, have fun, and enjoy the day.

If you are looking for a marriage counselor in the Rockledge area, please give me a call.


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