We have all heard about how important it is to make time for your partner and the alarming stories about those who don’t. It sounds so easy and yet too many of us just don’t do it enough. The following are some tips and suggestions for making more time for one another and for making the most out of the time you already spend together. Many of these tips will be geared towards couples with children since children do take big chunks of time out of our day, but even if you don’t have kids, you should be able to find a couple tips that will work for you!
- Talk about your plans for the day in the morning and how your day was at the end of the day. Knowing how your partner is going to spend their day and how they are feeling at the end of the day helps us feel more connected with one another. The timing of this will be different for each couple. Some may make a habit of having breakfast and dinner together or talking while in bed. It doesn’t need to be a big chunk of time, just a few minutes for each.
- Schedule a date night. Many couples who have varied and busy schedules have a hard time figuring out a good time for a date night. Look at the calendar ahead of time, and pen in some date nights. It’s important to have a rule of not breaking these date nights without re-scheduling them close to the original date. For those who have a hard time with this because child care is so expensive, think about alternatives such as having family watch your kids or starting or joining a childcare co-op. Don’t forget that to get the most out of your dates, its best to focus on some other topics other than the kids!
- Do chores and errands together. No one likes having to do chores or errands but they have to get done. You can make them more enjoyable if you do the work together while you talk, listen to music, or joke around.
- Shower together. Conserve water while you get clean and also increase the intimacy in your relationship. It doesn’t have to lead to anything more but who will complain if it does?
- Turn off the TV, and the computer for that matter! We spend so much of our time with our attention on screens that we often forget about making time for those around us. Just sitting next to your partner doesn’t count, you need to spend time interacting. Other options of ways to spend your time include playing games, talking, cuddling, massages, or other intimacy building activities!
- Hobbies and leisure activities. Take turns engaging in each other’s hobbies and also find some hobbies that you can engage in together.
- Take the kids to do things together. You can chat with your partner as you both watch your kids play at the playground.
- Go for a walk after dinner. Put the dishes on hold and use the time after dinner for a nice walk with your partner and even possibly with your kids as well. Chances are your kids will want to run or bike ahead and this will leave you some time with your spouse.
Occasional alone time with your spouse is important but not always practical. You can make sure that you are making time for your spouse and connecting just by having conversations with them directly, even if the kids are around. There are also times when we cannot put work or other things on hold. During these times, working next to each other, even if it is solo work, is still better than being at opposite ends of the house. Overall, just do your best with your own schedule to find those things you can do together and wasted time you can cut out in order to spend more quality time together! Let me know of some other ways you find time for your partner.