Boundaries are important for all types of relationships. They help us ensure we are acting and interacting appropriately with other people. If you do not have healthy boundaries with your children, this can negatively impact your marital relationship, especially if it is a step family situation. A common problem within families is that one parent becomes allied with a child instead of with their spouse. This can negatively interfere with the marital relationship by splitting apart the couple, making it impossible for them to be a united front. Here are some tips for establishing proper boundaries with your children.
1. Create rules and make sure they are well known and follow through on them. This includes age appropriate and healthy discipline that is reinforced consistently.
2. Don’t let children run the house. Ask opinions of your children when making decisions but make sure that it is clear that the final decision will be made by you and your spouse.
3. Make sure that you have time alone with your spouse. Help the children to understand that this time is a priority and that although they are loved, they are not always going to be a part of their parents activities.
4. Make sure children are not a part of adult conversations. Although it is important to teach children life skills, there are some conversations that they do not need to be an active participant in. These will need to be up to your discretion based on the topic, your child’s age, and your child’s personality.
5. Let your kids know you will be open and honest with your spouse. This means no keeping secrets! I will note that at times it may be appropriate to keep a secret if there is a history of abusive behavior, however.
By implementing these tips, you should be on your way to establishing appropriate boundaries within your family. If you are in theBrevard County area and are looking for a family counselor, please feel free to contact me. You can also like us on facebook.