Society’s Pressures of Parenting

January 8, 2013

I was recently catching up on some of my magazines and came across an article in a parenting magazine that caught my attention. It had 5 different celebrities listed and was noting their “weird” parenting habits with quotes from the celebrity. At first it only sparked my interest as a baby shower game as I am planning a baby shower for someone this weekend. At my baby shower we played a game of matching the celebrity with their kids’ names which are sometimes a bit out of the ordinary and I thought this would be a fun spin on that. Well this past weekend I was looking on the internet for more “weird” celebrity parenting habits to include since 5 just wouldn’t be enough. As I was doing this, it really started to hit me the pressure we are putting on parents to parent in a certain way. Especially since many of the parenting behaviors that some of these sites listed as “weird” I find to be completely acceptable in my natural parenting circle.

Society has put pressure on parents to be a certain type of parent. I think we all struggle with this because we have beliefs about what is best for children to help them to become productive adults. I can admit that even in my line of work, I read research that shows that certain parenting behaviors can have either negative or positive effects on children and therefore believe others should do their best to follow what the research shows. Trouble with this is that often times there is research saying the exact opposite.

I was even speaking with another mom this morning about how I cringe now when I see parents having their babies in the carrier on top of the shopping cart after seeing how easily they can collapse on videos on youtube. I guess I can justify this, however, due to it being a sincere safety issue and not just a difference in parenting style or a harmless behavior. There are certain things that we need to educate our parents about such as these safety issues and other behaviors that benefit our children such as breastfeeding and reading and paying attention to them. We should not, however, be belittling or making them feel bad for doing things differently that we do when it is not harmful to anyone.

Who cares if someone is going to make their placenta into pills and take them for energy or postpartum depression? Even though there isn’t research on the effectiveness on it there are a lot of women with anecdotal research that shows that it is helpful. Who cares if a parenting is using a nose frieda (a device with a tube that helps parents suck snot out of their children’s nose and also has a filter to prevent snot and germs being ingested by the parent), I hear of people swearing by it! Who cares if a parent follows attachment parenting behaviors of extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping (as long as it is done safely).

All this pressure is making parents, especially mothers crazy with trying to fit in and do what’s “right” and “best” for their children. Even pinterest is to blame in making moms feel like they have to constantly be doing crafts with their children and trying new recipes. I say relax, be yourself, and do what you believe is truly best for your child. Let’s focus more on the real safety issues and not that a celebrity mom kept their child’s umbilical cord in her make-up drawer! I love a saying that my natural minded friends use frequently, “the more you know, the better you do”. Let’s focus on educating ourselves and others more instead of criticizing them, especially for things that really make no difference in the long run.

Advertisements